Friday, March 30, 2012
Today I presented at a statewide academic conference. Er, scratch that. Today I was supposed to present at a statewide academic conference. Instead, I got to the conference, checked in, and just put on my name tag, when the school nurse called. My stomach dropped as soon as I saw the number... because I had sent Hunter to school even though I knew I probably shouldn't have. He's been fighting a cold, and his asthma was flaring up... but I figured he seemed well enough to last through the afternoon. I mean, this was my big day! I had written a big paper, and was presenting my research to my colleagues. It was prestigious, an academic honor...only, I wasn't where I needed to be and my heart knew it. In the classic battle of mommy vs. career, I had (for the first time) given my career precedence. And it was the wrong choice. I was two hours from my boy, and he needed me. Chris works in the cities, we have no family in our town, there was no one there to pick up Hunter. I felt awful. So, I tearfully explained my circumstances to the relevant parties and rushed home to my wheezing child. He's fine now. But it only reconfirmed my conviction. With Chris working so much so hard, and so far away... I need to be here. I need to be present for my family. All else can wait. This is what is important now.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Nearly a year and a half ago I sat down and started this blog. And then obviously neglected it for the next 18 or so months. But I constantly find myself writing blog posts in my head. I am a mental journaler. I am not ready to share this with the world, but for now I will do it for myself. You see, I find myself again at a crossroads in life. I am set to finish grad school in May. And instead of launching a career of one shape or another, I think I will likely be making the little "about me" dream come true. I am seriously considering homeschooling my 7 year old. That in and of itself is quite daunting, but compounding the magnitude of this decision is the fact that our little family is dealing with a lot of debt. Yup. Lots of student loans. But here's the thing, something tells me that this is the right thing to do (staying home). I intend to work from home...maybe freelance writing and editing. My mother's intuition tells me that this is the right thing for my child. So here we go. One foot in front of another. We'll make it work.